I just read a blog post from Kelly Kmelerine (who writes the blog, Squeeze the Spaceman’s Taco, a journey into Cade’s World) which he posted in March of this year where he writes about Forgiveness. It touched my heart as I, too, have been in the position of having my daughter who was blessed with Aspergers injure herself, but due to extreme anxiety, rather than an allergic reaction as Kelly writes about in the above referenced blog.
There is nothing funny about the extremes children with Autism go through. As a parent with Aspergers who has a daughter with Aspergers, it makes being a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, tougher. You may doubt yourself less, but you are also much more vulnerable to extreme negative words from your child when they are in emotional distress.
The experience has changed me. I am now more “on stage, mom the comedian,” when I see that my daughter is headed for a meltdown or an anxiety attack. Unfortunately, this also has affected my interactions with adults as well. And no, employment agencies (this is another story) and those who interview you for a job, do not really appreciate off the wall humor that you have used many times with your daughter. (As I wrote about in a previous post.)
And yet, having a child with Aspergers or as it is officially known now as “Autism Spectrum Disorder,” has opened my eyes and soul to the simple wonder and beauty my daughter’s world. It has also opened my eyes to the turmoil and hell, she goes through when she doubts herself and keeps beating herself up inside for not being perfect. In any case, I love her with all my heart for she is my child, part of me, part of my heart.